Stockpiling Relationship Solutions Part One - Give yourself the best advantage.

How do you cope with the unknown? What behaviours do those of you in a relationship find your partner exhibit when fearful? Do you have a child who surprises you with bizarre and unsettling responses to change or feeling scared?
 
In these unprecedented times of a pandemic with terrifying updates bombarded so easily accessible to our hand-held devices at lightning speed, we can be shocked by other’s response to fear. I even surprise myself sometimes.
 
Some are scoffing at selfish food hoarders or doing it themselves. Some are even violent in the traffic or at the shopping centre. Others are bingeing til the wee hours riveted to news feeds of doomsday media reports that may be ambiguous, exaggerated as well as realistic? There are those with their “head in the sand” and you know the ones incessantly chatting to their co-workers about all the “What if’s” and the conspiracy theories.
 
Stockpile this then to another perceived horror for those poor souls who’ve realised they will be held captive in isolation with not only their children but their spouse at home at the same time for a longer time than ever before. “Some” is the key word here as for many introverts this is a dream come true where they can enjoy some healthy alone time amongst their family who respect their space! Some even relish and love the company of their family – in small doses!
 
Overall, this is all understandably frightening.  My heart and concern to those with a compromised immune system, the elderly and those already suffering an illness or this virus.
 
As with all aspects of life – how can we approach this situation whilst adopting the necessary hygiene precautions and giving ourselves the best advantage possible?
 
We achieve a balance on fear. Did you know that fear can be more dangerous than the virus? Toxic over-thinking, particularly focussing on misinterpreted information is detrimental to your health. When your body operates under constant cortisol overload in stress, the blood vessels to your heart constrict with less oxygen to the brain. We need healthy stress, but the detrimental reaction under pressure from too much toxic stress too often will have you more vulnerable and susceptible to disease. Being overly anxious can lead to the “nocebo effect”. That is, the negative thoughts of the situation becoming a more negative effect that it otherwise would have.  
 
For most of us, we may become unwell and suffer the standard symptoms and recover. As we negotiate this unchartered territory, I ask that you down regulate your stress response by looking outwards with respect and kindness. More than ever do we rely on our health workers. How can we help support their families? Can you deliver food stores to your elderly neighbour (be ok with them disinfecting it at the door). Turn your fear into good and your brain will induce a feel-good positive response instead.

More on How do I cope with my partner in self-isolation? next week.

Joanne Wilson is a neuropsychotherapist, relationship specialist, workshop facilitator and guest speaker. Tune into radio Salt106.5 each Friday morning for her co-host of the Morning Wakeup. Don’t miss more on these Sunshine Coast Daily articles in her “Is This Love” Podcast and download your FREE relationship resources including Great Ideas and Workbook to Stockpile solutions for super mental health throughout isolation at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com